i don't mean to nag but u spelt my name wrong
z
It's quiet and sleek
With fangs so sharp and long
It's so frightening
It comes out when your asleep
In the deep darkness of the night
It's so frightening
Be careful or it might creep
Around your bed tonight
It's so frightening
You'll be safe only when it sleeps
But when it wakes
And it attacks
It's so frightening
Only remains are left
Blood all over
As it crawls out to feast again
It's so frightening
wow!
that was really nice rachael....i really liked the repitition of ''its so frightening''.
cool job lady...keep it up.
Yup, this is the best so far, no question. I think the repeated line at the end made the poem a little laboured. I think you should've made it a different word for "frightening" (antonym, synonym, homonym, whatever) like terrifying, petrifying, etc. It was rather cool.
This is undoutedly the best work you've written and posted here, in my oppinion.
The only thing that I think needs work is the last stanza. With the blood and remains thing, it just dosen't fit into the rest of the poem. The lines before it were all about dark, scary fear, not blood and guts everywhere.
But, again I liked this.
Points: 890
Reviews: 18
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