z

Young Writers Society



IT'S SO FRIGHTENING

by rachel eaw


It's quiet and sleek
With fangs so sharp and long
It's so frightening

It comes out when your asleep
In the deep darkness of the night
It's so frightening

Be careful or it might creep
Around your bed tonight
It's so frightening

You'll be safe only when it sleeps
But when it wakes
And it attacks
It's so frightening

Only remains are left
Blood all over
As it crawls out to feast again
It's so frightening


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
18 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 18

Donate
Sat May 14, 2005 12:33 pm
rachel eaw says...



i don't mean to nag but u spelt my name wrong




Random avatar

Points: 890
Reviews: 11

Donate
Thu Apr 21, 2005 3:52 pm
jossymaiye says...



wow!
that was really nice rachael....i really liked the repitition of ''its so frightening''.
cool job lady...keep it up.




Random avatar

Points: 1212
Reviews: 241

Donate
Fri Apr 15, 2005 9:23 pm
Harley wrote a review...



Yup, this is the best so far, no question. I think the repeated line at the end made the poem a little laboured. I think you should've made it a different word for "frightening" (antonym, synonym, homonym, whatever) like terrifying, petrifying, etc. It was rather cool.




User avatar
263 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 263

Donate
Tue Apr 12, 2005 7:20 am
Lollipop says...



Yeah. Me TOO! I love this too! Good Job Rachel!! :D

~Lollipop~




User avatar
148 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 148

Donate
Tue Apr 12, 2005 1:03 am
ohhewwo wrote a review...



This is undoutedly the best work you've written and posted here, in my oppinion.

The only thing that I think needs work is the last stanza. With the blood and remains thing, it just dosen't fit into the rest of the poem. The lines before it were all about dark, scary fear, not blood and guts everywhere.

But, again I liked this.





Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.
— Enid Bagnold